MerrinDonahue.com

Disclaimer: This is a picture of a picture, so don’t give me any grief about the quality. Now on to the important stuff.

I had a great time in high school. I made an effort to really enjoy those years, mostly because I kept hearing about how much people hated their high school years. However, like most teenage girls, I spent a good amount of time thinking that I was inadequate. Too fat. Too many zits. Too plain. When I went to get my senior pictures taken, I have to say that I was pretty unhappy with them. I was super-critical of myself. Now, I’ve always had a relatively high amount of self-esteem, and I’ve always said that I like myself just fine, but I don’t expect other people to like me. Even though my self-worth wasn’t really hurting back in those days, I did tend to pick apart every single conceivable flaw, and I admit that I worried how other people saw me.

Now that I’m in my thirties, I look back on those pictures (this one in particular), and I realize what a total and complete waste of time it was to be so self-critical. Because really? I was SMOKIN’ HOT! Granted, I’m so much more comfortable in my skin at 33 than I could even contemplate being at 17, but c’mon. What tricks does the mirror play on the 17 year-old female mind? How could I possibly have thought of myself as fat and not very pretty? I’m not trying to come off as conceited or vain, but when you compare 33 year-old me to 17 year-old me, I had it goin’ on.

I guess my point is this: I love being older and more able to appreciate me for me. I also love being able to look back at pictures of myself and appreciate the me I was then. When I have my daughter, I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure she loves herself no matter what. And when she’s 17, I want her to be able to look in the mirror and love everything she sees.