MerrinDonahue.com

Let’s face it: Kevin and I have been through one crazy year. An everlasting wait for our daughter, a huge job change, the loss of one of our dogs, impending relocation, a miscarriage, a new nephew….The list goes on. I’ve always said that nothing ever really changes with us, and at the core, that’s true. We have one another, and that one constant is enough for both of us. I’ve had a lot of free time lately, what with Kevin being in Orlando and all, and I’ve been trying to use it to organize my touchstones.

Of course, Kevin is my primary touchstone. He is my rock. But I don’t have to worry about lining that particular stone up with the others. He’s already there. Then there are the Coopers, and that’s pretty much the same deal. I know I can pick up the phone and either one of them will be there, so they’re already in the line-up, too. Then there’s family: Mom, Dad, Dana, etc. Right there with the others. Further down the line, though, the stones get a little disorganized. So I’ve been doing my best to get them in order.

I know this sounds a little confusing, so I’ll try my hardest to explain: I believe that the people you surround yourself with are the people who help define you. You learn from them, for better or for worse. You share heartbreaks and triumphs, deep truths and fanciful dreams. The people who knew you when you were 14 are the people who will help you remember your youth when your 44. I am firm in my conviction that those relationships are important to nurture, even though I don’t do it enough. I do like, however, that the girls that were in my wedding standing by my side are the girls I still keep in contact with. These girls (ladies, now) were there the first time I…..Well, for a lot of firsts. For the past {{{gulp}}} 18 years, we have kept up with one another, albeit not as much as we should. This small group of women are the people who helped define me, who changed my outlook, and who challenged me to become a broader thinker. I think that when you hit adolescence, you tend to listen to your girlfriends more than your mom, and these ladies definitely gave me lots to think about.

I’ve said before that if you’re really lucky, you have one or two REALLY good friends in your lifetime. I know I’m blessed to have the Coopers. But I’m also fortunate enough to have my old friends. The ones who knew me when. Who were there before Kevin (although they were the first ones there at three in the morning when I finally brought him to Texas). We’ve all grown up, which none of us ever thought we’d do. One of us is a mother of three. One of us is doing her own thing in Fort Worth with her dogs and her man. And one of us is doing her part to save the world, one photograph at a time. Me? I’m doing my best to be a good wife, and getting ready to be a mom. We’ve all come a long way from all-night parties and general debauchery, and I sure do hope that my daughter learns the magic of long-forged friendships. I may not talk to these girls very often, but I know that we do keep in touch. Just as I know that when I’m 44, I’ll be able to call any one of them and have them tell me stories about when we were young and stupid. And right now? With all the transition going on, it sure is nice to have my touchstones in order.