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Wife. Mommy. Lover of cookies.

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RT @HonestToddler: Toddler Tip: She has a bounty of nerves underneath that "last" one. Don't worry :)

Archive: January 2004

Heard Around The House

Kevin: Here, I brought you a present.
Me: Oh, thanks baby!
K: Yeah, I got it ‘cuz you like cannibals and true stories.

Why yes, yes I do. I never gave it much thought until he pointed out the vast number of serial killer books that I have read, coupled with the fact that Hannibal Lecter is my favorite fictional character. I’m sure that somewhere there’s a therapist who would actually pay me to get a closer look into my twisted psyche, but at least my husband understands and loves me anyway.
You heard it here first, folks: I like cannibals and true stories.

Separated At Birth?

Broccoli, Anyone?

At least I sure hope my mom ate her veggies.

It’s A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Welcome Home!!!!!


This man was ” sentenced Monday to a year in prison for taking a 15-year-old cousin — who was also his aunt — as his wife. ” Cousin’s wife’s aunt’s dog’s owner. Yeah. What the hell?

Bookmark Bingo

Check your bookmarks and see if you are the lucky winner. Do you have:

for this page? Update ’em! 🙂

Best Laid Plans

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fully intended to clean the house and do some laundry. I swear I meant to get something for dinner. I was even going to cook. Instead, I spent the day on the couch watching bad movies and catching up on my Tivo. So much for best laid plans…..But, damn, I sure am relaxed.

An Interview with my Husband

Merrin: First and foremost, what do you have to say for yourself.

Kevin: Well, if you’re asking if I kinda broke your blog…a little…then I would say…yeah. I mean, I didn’t mean to. It’s just that – way, way, way back when we set it up, I never expected that we would be on two separate servers.

M: So, ya broke it?

K: Yeah. But I’m really, really sorry and I’m trying to get it working ASAP.

M: What works?

K: Well, my site is kinda working now. On yours, the pages load…for the most part. You can post…kinda. And the comments work…but they give an error so it looks like they don’t work. Other than that…

M: Other than that?! Other than that?! WTF?! What else is there “other than that”?!

K: Well…did I mention that I love you? And that I’m fixing it? And that you really, really look pretty?

M: What’s it gonna take?

K: I’ll start moving the templates and reassign the DNS. The templates and stuff should take a couple hours to set up, because I have to mimic the directory structure over at the new joint. The DNS is going to take a few days to fully resolve. So, it’s probably going to be touch-and-go until sometime this weekend.

M: Talk to the hand.

K: Hmm…you got any almond oil?

{{ The End}}

Kevin is moving my blog. It’s going to take a couple days. (You better add on a couple days to whatever he’s telling me, so several days.) In the meantime, things are going to be all kinds of screwed up around here. Sorry. 🙂

Ode To San Antonio

I promised I’d blog it, but leave out the details. So here’s the clean version, with just our trevails:

?Twas a long three-day weekend, and all through the car,
The excitement was growing; we weren?t very far
From our destination, though inclement weather,
We knew that we?d make it if we just stuck together.

The GPS failed us, but that was okay.
?I?m sure?, shouted Kevin, ?That I know the way!?
Now which hotel is it? Oh yeah, that?s the one.
Now get him a beer, for the driving is done.

While visions of fishbowls danced in his head,
It would be hours till we went to bed.
Sadly, however, different drinks must be had.
Joe don?t do fishbowls. The tools. That?s too bad.

We made do with tequila, mojitos, and beer.
Then Kev couldn?t take it; seepy time was near.
Up to the room he stumbled while swaying.
?No way!? ?It?s too early!? so we ended up staying.

Soon after, however, the liquor consumed
Caught up with us, and it was up to our rooms.
The night?s party was over, but don?t be concerned.
There are still lots of stories and truths to be learned.

The next day dawned sunny, calm, and serene,
And I knew in an instant I must have caffeine
To combat the headache beginning to brew.
So it was hair of the dog, and Dr. Pepper times two.

Then on to the Market, via the Saturday street,
Where lunch was consumed, a right tasty treat.
The drinking began right around noon,
I swear, we drank enough beer to fill a lagoon.

After a boat ride and cookies for C,
We headed to Hooter?s for beer number 3.
Make that a pitcher, and 20 hot wings,
And two hours later we couldn?t see things.

On to the next bar, with wenches galore,
And no, I?m not speaking of Mexican whores.
A few more beers later, and it?s dinner time.
Oops! Missed our table. Get back in line.

After the meal, things start to get fuzzy.
So back to the room, but we?re a little bit clumsy.
Kev fell asleep, and Josh did, as well.
The boys were defeated by booze, can?t you tell?

By the time they awoke, it was time to head back.
We loaded the car and played our soundtrack.
David Sedaris made us giggle quite loud,
We hardly noticed the sky fill with clouds.

Back to bad weather, that?s okay, head to West.
It?s time for some lunch, and I just must confess
The kolaches I bought for my mom never made it.
I ate them up quick, I told her she?d hate it.

On through the toll plaza, we were almost home.
However, I know one day we will roam
Across our great nation on all sorts of adventures
Even when we wear of ourselves the old dentures.

From crapped-out RV?s to two morsels of lumber,
Endless kolaches and a drink-induced slumber,
A great time was had by one and by all,
Let?s do it again. Saddle up, y?all!

I Have Not Yet Begun To Blog

I’m still too busy sorting out what’s fit to print, as there are many, many, many stories that I’m fairly certain are off-limits. In the meantime, I’m going to go eat of myself a kolache and pick out an Asstaurant at which to have dinner.


All the cool kids are off for 3 days. I’m off for four, so I guess that makes me cooler, but oh well. He and I are heading out of town with him and her for the weekend. Let the party commence!

You May Want To Write This Down

If you’ve been referred to my site as the result of a search engine query containing the words “rebuttal for Bush not being smart”, just keep on walkin’. You’ve certainly come to the wrong place. Go on, now. Shoo.

Look What I Had To Overcome

From my last life. I think I’ll write a book.
I’ve thought about it, and I’m glad there’s no middle ground in our lives. No, really. I’ve wrangled with this particular peculiarity for a while, now, and I’ve made peace with the realization that while karma coupons do indeed have an expiration date, it’s more fun (more interesting at the very least) to cash them in all at once.
We certainly had an interesting year chock-full of ups and downs, and it looks like ’04 is off to much the same start. And yet we’ve managed to drag ourselves up from deep within the bowels of Hell (twice), and come out on the top of the mountain.
I’ve had an amazing week, and so has Kev (who henceforth shall be known as Wonder Husband). Three marvelous things have transpired this week, which means I don’t have to break out the telescope in order to see the eerily perfect alignment of all the stars and planets. And the week ain’t even over yet, folks.
One more thing: A big shout-out to Sessalee, whose email was the icing on my gargantuan cake. You truly rock my world.

When She Bothers At All

Right. Like this is a big shock. The only question is how they unearthed photos of her with her clothes actually on.

Tales Of The Mathematically Challenged

The very worst thing in the world happened today. My corporate office took this away from me. Sure, it’s not a big deal to those of you who can, I don’t know, add and/or subtract, but for people like me who add 2 and 2 and come up with a fraction, this is a disaster. Oh, the humanity.




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