MerrinDonahue.com

Do you ever have those moments when you could absolutely swear that the person you’re talking to said something completely different from what they really said? We had one of those tonight, and just so you don’t think we’re totally crazy (which we are), I’ll provide a little background.
My stomach has been hurting for the past few days. It gets better, then it gets worse. Tonight was worse, and I said as much to Kevin. What follows is the transcript of our conversation:
Me: “My stomach hurts.”
Him:: “Maybe your mom was farting on Osama.”
Me: “Well, that’s one way to win the war on terror.”
This is, of course, not at all what he said. The actual phrase was “Maybe your mom was arguing with someone.” Hmmmm. Further explanation may be necessary. You see, every time my mother hears Kevin and I arguing, which is quite often (harmless arguing, not actual fighting), it makes her stomach hurt. She just can’t take us bickering with one another, even when we’re just playing around. So, naturally, when I said that my stomach hurt, he said the thing about my mom. Only I heard it completely differently.
As for a new arsenal for the war on terror, however, I think we may be on to something.