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Wife. Mommy. Lover of cookies.

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Archive: January 2003

I’ts Not Funny

No, really, it’s not. And I’m not laughing. I promise. No, that’s not a snicker you hear. Oh, all right. So I am laughing. I know it’s in bad taste, but this really is kinda funny. Plus, there’s the added bonus of a practical lesson: Always check the return address. If you think I’m crass, then just remember that you, my friends, will be paying for yet another frivolous lawsuit.
Get a Leg Up

You Know You Have A Problem

The following words passed my lips last night:
American Idol is on tomorrow night. Fox won’t preempt it for the State of the Union, will they?”
Yes, I am indeed ashamed. Mortified, really. I have become the person I can’t stand; I am the lowest common denominator. To top it off, I read this today, and suddenly lost a lot of respect for the producers of the show. Sure, the guy had a good audition, and I’m sure he’s in no real hurry to get to Kuwait, but I think there’s something a little wrong with “working with Washington to get [him] out of the deployment.” Okay, okay. So the guy will go when the show (or his singing career) is over. Since when did we become the country that cared more about chasing fame than defending freedom?
Oooofffff. Sorry. I landed funny when I jumped off my soap box just then.
Oh, what the hell. May as well rise to the occasion and partake in a little State of the Union fun. Maybe then I won’t care that American Idol got the shaft.
Idol Hands

The Sopranos Defense

It will never cease to amaze me. The lengths to which some people will go in their pathetic attempt to distort the truth (or simply cover their own asses) truly boggles the mind. While this statement is timely for me, personally, this is also a testament to outrageous rationalization. When did people stop taking responsibility for their own actions? Did you do it? Yes? Then too bad. It’s time to face the music, and stop making the rest of us miserable in the process. That’s all for now. You may now resume your normal lives.
I am not the one who needs mental help. I just needed to vent--Carmela

I Know I Talk Smack

But I really haven’t been this excited about a Super Bowl since the early 90’s. You remember: When the Cowboys truly were America’s Team, as opposed to the largest collection of highly-paid felons (I still love ’em, though). It’s true–in a little under 40 minutes, Tampa Bay will make history when they beat the crap out of Oakland. Second only to the excitement of the actual game comes a full half hour of Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon at halftime. Thank God for Tivo, which will allow me to endlessly view not only the commercials, but also the acerbic wit of America’s finest comedians. Hell, yeah.
Super Bowl, Baby!

In Honor Of The Blurb

This blurb thing really is spiralling out of control. It seems that everywhere I look, I am bombarded with images, stories, and references to Da Vinci, and this is no exception. I am finding it increasingly difficult to identify the right words to express how much I loved this novel, as everything that comes to mind sounds absolutely horrid, which could just be my opinion. At least it’s giving me something over which to obsess (other than our current home-buying dilemma). So if you’ll excuse me for a little while, I’m going to attempt to sound intellectual, which in fact, couldn’t be further from the truth.
I Must Find the Words!

This Is The Coolest Thing

Ever. No, really. I mean it. And to top that, my husband is the coolest man ever. Granted, now you can’t just click the button and listen to whatever song I happen to have on my sidebar, and one that I infrequently change, but at least you can see what’s playing on my computer at any given moment (Tip: hit Refresh every couple of minutes to see it change!). Now you will all know how truly….eclectic….I really am. Hooray for technology!
Get Your Own!

There Are No Words

Not to repeat what Kevin has already said, but I also want to offer my thanks to everyone who has been so kind to us the past couple of weeks. I know we’ve been neurotic and crazy, but there is no way we could even begin to do this without all the support from family and friends. You have moved me to tears more than once with both your generosity and kind words, and I am so grateful that for the first time, I have absolutely no words to express how much you all mean to me. We are so lucky to have such a huge support network, and you should all know that it doesn’t go unnoticed nor unappreciated. You all make our lives much richer, much happier, and much more complete. Please know that I love you all, and I realize how fortunate we are to have you all in our lives. From the bottom of my heart, thank you a million times.

Sweet Validation!

I admit it. I’ve felt extremely guilty about my horrid obsession with reality television. Finally, the entertainment industry has offered up some lovely validation, even if it does call the success of reality shows “freakish”. I’m down with that, though, because apparently, these are the “water cooler” shows now. Do you remember when it was Friends? ER? I think it’s awfully interesting that Americans have turned to “reality” shows in a post-9/11 climate. It’s just further proof that we all want to escape a little bit, and watching other people suffer humiliations galore is just what the doctor ordered.
Sweet Relief

The Blurb Thing

I’ve tried valiantly not to write about this, but I can’t stand it anymore, and besides, some of you have already found out. It also happens to be the one really cool thing in my life right now, and it’s keeping me from climbing a clock tower. I have been asked to lend a blurb from a review I wrote about The DaVinci Code. Not only that, I have to “revamp” it. Let’s get something straight: It’s really difficult to sound pithy and intelligent when you have to actually think about it. I cannot think of a single thing to say about this book. I am completely blocked. True, it was the best book I read last year (not to mention significantly more entertaining than Holy Blood, Holy Grail, and it drove me to read everything I could get my hands on about the Priory of Sion, but now I got nothin’. Everything I come up with sounds hackneyed and trite (thanks, Kev). I think I’ll stew over this one for a couple of days (I’ve got until Monday). I’ve always worked best under pressure.
Holy Grail

And So The Mood Swings

Okay, okay. I know I said I was taking a break, but it seems that the ‘ol blog is a perfect outlet after all. Since we’re still not moved, and I’ve now been living out of boxes for three weeks, and we’re still not sure whether or not we have a house to move into, I’m riding the stress roller coaster. Thanks to everyone who keeps putting up with my Tarzan-like moods, and especially thanks my husband, who is keeping me (mostly) sane. It’s all gonna be ok, right? Right?

Feed Your Brain

Go check out the newly updated Reading List.
Knowledge is Power, Grasshopper

January and February (Hell, December, too, For That Matter)

I know, I know. It’s been a while, and y’all have nothing to read. Truth be told, neither do I, since all my books are currently in boxes, but, nevertheless, I shall trudge forward and offer recommendations of recent samplings. Also, be sure to check back around February 17, since Gianna, my ever-faithful Random House Rep, wil be once again inundating me with fresh material. One more thing: because I absolutely couldn’t resist, I’ve also included recommended listening. A word of caution: Please don’t leave nasty comments, since I realize that my tastes may not necessarily be yours, and I already feel dirty for listening to bubblegum pop music.

Gothic Mayhem What with all the current hoopla over Chicago, this one is one more way to satisfy the thirst for all things Windy City. Set at the 1893 World’s Fair, Devil in the White City has it all: politics, history, celebrities, and a serial killer (America’s first!). From the author who brought you the bestselling Isaac’s Storm, this is a piece of our history that deserves to be remembered. To buy it, click here.

Lincoln's Back I know you hate it when I do this, but that’s too bad, since it’s one of the perks of my job. The Vanished Man is indeed a Lincoln Rhyme novel, and significantly better than The Stone Monkey. Deaver gets back into his groove that keeps you on the edge of your seat, all the while exposing the reader to intricate details of things you never knew you cared about. To buy it, click here. And no, you may not have my copy.

Rooster? What do you mean you’ve never read David Sedaris? Who are you, anyway? Quick, before anyone finds out! Go buy this and redeem yourself. Be sure to pay homage to the Rooster when you’re finished.

That Jazz What do you mean, you haven’t seen the movie? Have you been living under a rock? Go! Now! That said, while it’s not the best movie I’ve ever seen, it’s definitely great, and well-worth the $8.00 to see it. The soundtrack is the best part, and you can even forget it’s Richard “Hamster”(sorry Brooke!) Gere singing. Zellweger and Zeta-Jones are surprisingly fabulous. To buy it, or preview!, click here.

Don't Mock Me I know. It’s okay. I’ve accepted this throwback to my high school years for what it is: a full-blown quarterlife crisis. However, I think you’ll find that if you give the young Miss Lavigne a chance, she just might win you over with her refreshing style. Avril Lavigne is the anti-Aguilera, and deserves a listen. I like her because she’s just a girl, albeit one who doesn’t know how to pronounce David Bowie’s name. Poor little thing. To buy or preview, click here.

Strike! Ahhh, sweet redemption. Let’s hear it for the local boys! This band rocks my world, and this CD never fails to make me feel better. Pop it in, turn it up, and instant relief from life’s stress. The lyrics are priceless, and often genuinely funny. For example:
“She likes ’em with a mustache
Racetrack season pass
Drivin’ in a Trans-Am
Does a mullet make a man?”
For full lyrics, click here.Forget blink-182; Bowling for Soup is the next big thing. To buy it, or preview (I particularly recommend “Girl All the Bad Guys Want”), click here.

Move Along

Nothing to see here, folks. If you’re looking for pithy insight or thoughtful discussion pertaining to the minutiae of my life, I’ll tell you right now: skip it. For the next little while, you won’t find anything of any real value posted on my blog. Oh, don’t worry. I’ll still continue to post quirky links everyday and throw down the occasional rant, but I need a break from the twisted (sur)reality that my life has become lately. It’s not that I don’t love you; I just don’t want to share stuff right now. Thanks for understanding, and please check back, since you all know I am, in fact a Gemini, and quite capable of changing my mind in a heartbeat. For right now, though, I am sad.
Still Sad

Maybe It’s Time For a Change

No, really. Can’t you just picture the gallery chanting “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!”? Imagine what a spectacle it would be to have Springer square off with ! Or how about a Liddy Dole/Hilary Clinton grudge match? Oooh! Oooh! An Orrin Hatch/Ted Kennedy/Trent Lott Love Triangle! C’mon. You know we need Springer in the Senate. Hell, I’d move to Ohio just for the show. God, I hope this happens. I need a laugh.
One Of Them?

This Is the Scariest Thing I’ve Seen

In a long time. Once again, while I realize that Americans do not have a Constitutional right to privacy, the mere fact that a judge can make a ruling such as this is truly frightening. Sure, it will be appealed, but that doesn’t stop the whole thing from being just a touch Orwellian. Do I have music files on my computer? Sure. So do millions of others. It’s scary to think that Big Brother could just take a peek whenever he wanted, and that’s just what we’re headed for. Yes, the recording artists have a right to compensation. All I’m saying is that they’ll have to evolve as technology does. Because I hate to tell ya, but right now, file sharing is not illegal.
Is It 1984?




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