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Horrible Confession

On my way home today, I heard the Christmastime in Africa song. You know, the one from the 80’s by Band Aid? Okay. So here’s the deal (and Kevin and J&C know what’s coming).
When I was a kid (when the song first came out, in like, 1984), Ethiopia was big news. This was before Sally Struthers came and ate all the Twinkies. There were pictures all over the TV every day of these poor little kids with distended bellies and flies all over them, and, obviously, it made my 9 year old heart very sad. Imagine my further distress when I heard the Band Aid song for the first time. The trouble is, I heard the lyrics wrong. You know the part where they say “Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?” That part was okay. But what really got me was the part where they sang “The only gift they’ll get this year is life”. The only thing is, I heard it “The only gift they’ll get this year is lice” (cut to images of Sally Struthers with the kids with big bellies and flies). I remember being so distraught over that as a child, and it wasn’t until years later (in high school), that I learned the real words.
Here’s my dilemma: You can never un-learn the orignal way you heard something. So, even though it’s wildly inappropriate, I found myself giggling today as that song played on the radio. Don’t get me wrong; I was laughing more at myself than the poor little kids, but some images stay in your head forever, and damn. In retrospect, it is kinda funny.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go reserve my condo by the Lake of Fire in the pits of hell.

5 Responses to “Horrible Confession”

  1. Kevin Donahue Says:

    “The only gift they’ll get this year is lice,
    The only gift they’ll get this year is rice,
    The only gift they’ll get this year is dice,
    The only gift they’ll get this year is advice,
    The only gift they’ll get this year is vice,
    The only gift they’ll get this year is mice.”

    Damn you, Sally Struthers!!!

  2. Camille Says:

    Never unlearn…Totally.

    Just recently, while watching Sesame Street (okay…that’s funny in itself), the Journey to Ernie segment to be exact, I couldn’t figure out what Big Bird was saying…

    “Its Ernie [insert Ernie, “Its me!], I’d know you anywhere. The squeaking of your duckie, that Ernie ??jertain?? hair…”

    I had to ask Josh what the heck he was saying. Turns out its “…that Ernie shirt and hair”. Simple enough, yet I still sometimes stumble over that part.

  3. sloane Says:

    Don’t feel too bad, cos. There’s a hymn, “I sing a song of the saints of God.” One of the lyrics includes the line, “and one was a doctor and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast…”

    In college, a professional church musician/friend of mine got me singing it “and one was a doctor and one was a beast and one was slain by a fierce wild priest.”

    To this DAY, I can’t sing it right. If I don’t sing the wrong lyrics, I just bust out laughing in the middle of Mass.

    The only consolation is, I now have my priest singing it that way too.

  4. camille Says:

    dude. you need to blog more often. and don’t give me the “retail + holiday’s” excuse.

  5. T*:) Says:

    These are the kind of “true confessions” I like best.

    Shall I reserve a condo next to yours? WHAhahahaHa!




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