MerrinDonahue.com

I am mystified. There seems to be a recent spike in the urge to “shake it”. As I have now completed a significant amount of research on the subject, I feel that I can speak with some authority. Allow me to explain:
While driving home last night, I had my radio tuned in to, let’s say, the local Top 40 station (you may mock me later). Right there, loud and clear, through my speakers, two gentlemen who have bestowed upon themselves the moniker “The Ying Yang Twins“, invited me to “shake it like a salt shaker“. Unfortunately, as these were the only lyrics I could understand, I was a bit unsure just what they were requesting I shake.
Not too long ago, Kelis informed me that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. She then offered to help me perfect my own milkshake. However, the last time I checked, Kevin was perfectly content with my milkshake, so I politely declined her offer. Plus, she was going to charge me for her services, and I’m kinda cheap.
Outkast, too, has told us to “shake it like a Polaroid picture”. The kind folks at Polaroid, however, ever-vigilant of the public’s well-being, were quick to let us know that shaking it negatively impacts the proper development of the photograph. The best thing about this song, by the way, is one’s ability to imitate Beavis (Shaaaake it! Yeah, shake it!)
This is not an entirely new phenomenon. Some of you will remember The Cars, who commanded us to “shake it up“. Those were kinder, gentler times to be sure. I knew what it was I was being told to shake. Now, I’m confused.
Kevin is baffled by my listening choices. He stares, amazed, while I sing along with Eamon (hey, any song that let’s me drop the F-Bomb as much as that one is fun and kind of liberating). What’s more, he doesn’t understand quite how I can listen to a Bach concerto one minute and Nick Cannon the next. I’m a Renaissance woman, what can I say? Seriously, though. What, exactly, are we shaking? Are we endangering ourselves or others? I know one thing: Kevin is shaking his head right about now.